6 July 2011 1 Comment

Work Puns

My cousin works in a watch factory — boy does he have an easy job! He stands around all day and makes faces!

Give some employees an inch and they’ll act like a ruler!

After the programmer had worked for 24 hours straight, he decided to call it a day.

Joe is on worker’s compensation. He was picking up a sieve and strained his back.

The new plumber quit after a week. His new job was too much of a drain.

I wasn’t sure I could trust the guy who installed my ceiling fan. He said he never screwed up.

My sister is so good with a chainsaw and wood chipper that she’s been promoted to branch manager!

My friend is always trying to apply himself, but nothing ever sticks.

My personal trainer at the gym was fired yesterday. Apparently he wasn’t working out.

The guy who cut my meat at the deli was full of baloney!

Operating an elevator sure has it’s ups and downs.

I excel at work. I’m the guy who makes all of our spreadsheets.

My uncle lied during his last interview about being both an illusionist and a window cleaner. They saw right through him.

My brother made hamburgers up until a week ago. He got in a pickle when he just couldn’t cut the mustard.

The worker who built my fence seemed to suffer from post work depression.

You wouldn’t believe all of the board meetings that lumber companies have!

The pest control dude was trying to weasel out of his work.

A garbage man accidentally fell into a dumpster. When it was emptied he replied, “Man. Today I’m just in the dumps!”

The cabin boy decided not to bring up his late paycheck. He didn’t want to rock the boat.

A mortician’s job is to make you look drop-dead gorgeous.

My brother’s surgeon always keeps him in stitches.

Until Next Time,

~Binary

One Response

  1. Sandy 19 October 2011 6:23 pm #

    I love puns. Some of these were pretty good. Drop-Dead Gorgeous…Priceless!